Unaware of their relationship needs, spouses may feel as though the joy is gone. But joy does not voluntarily leave the relationship. Something in the relationship has changed, something has happened, but they did not notice, did not pay attention to the changes, perhaps insignificant at first glance.
In the process of psychotherapy, it is quite possible to gradually, like a ball of thread, sort out confused feelings: what happened to your spouse, and what happened to you, how the relationship changed and how you could not tell each other about it
You ask: "Why such a difficult unraveling, isn't it possible to somehow more easily clarify the situation, add fun and joy, diversify sexual relations?" Of course you can! And to bring joy and somehow diversify family life, sex, make life easier, devote more time to friends and leisure.
